The best American nonrequired reading 2007 / edited by Dave Eggers

Table of Contents

Introduction by Sufjan Stevens xi Q & A by Dave Eggers

I

Best American Names for Horses Expected to Have Undistinguished Careers 3 from Yankee Pot Roast, written by Mike Richardson-Bryan

Best American Beginnings of Ten Stories about Ponies 4 from Monkey Bicycle, written by Wendy Molyneux

Best American First Sentences of Novels Published in 2006 6

Best American New Words of 2006 8 from The Concise Oxford English Dictionary and Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, new edition

Best American New Band Names 11

Best American Six-Word Memoirs 12 from Smith

Best American Personals from Around the World 14 from Tin House

Best American Article Titles from the Best American Trade Magazines 17

Best American Creationist Explanations for the World's Natural Wonders 21 from Answers in Genesis

Best American New Animal Plagues 23 from Earthweek, written by Steve Newman

Best American Failed Television Pilots 25 from Channel 101

Best American Names of Television Programs Taken to Their Logical Conclusions 28 from Opium, written by Joe O'Neill

Best American Police Blotter Items 29 from Looptard

II

Jonathan Ames. Middle-American Gothic 33 from Spin

Alison Bechdel. A Happy Death 41 from Fun Home

D. Winston Brown. Ghost Children 70 from Creative Nonfiction

Scott Carrier. Rock the Junta 84 from Mother Jones

Joshua Clark. American 99 from New Orleans Review

Edge Foundation. What Is Your Dangerous Idea? 107

Jennifer Egan. Selling the General 131 from Five Chapters

Stephen Elliott. Where I Slept 153 from Tin House

Kevin A. González. Lotería 162 from Indiana Review

Miranda July. How to Tell Stories to Children 187 from Zoetrope: All-Story

Matthew Klam. Adina, Astrid, Chipewee, Jasmine 204 from The New Yorker

Lee Klein. All Aboard the Bloated Boat: Arguments in Favor of Barry Bonds 227 from Barrelhouse

Nam Le. Love and Honor and Pity and Pride and Compassion and Sacrifice 237 from Zoetrope: All-Story

Jen Marlowe, Aisha Bain, and Adam Shapiro. Darfur Diaries 259

David J. Morris. The Big Suck: Notes from the Jarhead Underground 274 from The Virginia Quarterly Review

Conan O'Brien. Stuyvesant High School Commencement Speech 299

Mattox Roesch. Humpies 305 from Agni Online

Patrick Somerville. So Long, Anyway 317 from Epoch

Joy Williams. Literature Unnatured 330 from American Short Fiction

Includes bibliographical references.